I used to think no one would really understand me. Heck, I didn’t even understand me. I wondered why I couldn’t just be like everyone else and why life couldn’t be simpler. I wanted to fit in and be “normal”. The other day I read a post on a forum I belong to from a person who was pretty much saying what I’ve felt for most of my life. He wanted to know, in a nutshell, if others in the group ever felt like they just wished they were born in the sex they truly were and if others were also tired of always feeling like they didn’t fit in. Oh boy! You bet!! Not only did I read that and nod my head in a knowing “mm hmm, yep” but a lot of other folks jumped in with their own affirmations and explanations for this not so odd commonality in the group. Some of the comments got me really thinking about why we all want to be seen as “normal”, ordinary, fitting in, so much. I think I figured it out, at least partly, and I want to share it with you today.
It’s because we’ve all been brainwashed from birth to believe that life works a certain way and that if you deviate from that one true path than YOU are the problem, not the system. We live in a one size fits all society. We’re put in pink and blue boxes from the minute we’re born and read fairy tales and watched Disney movies that only have one story line. Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets girl back and they live happily ever after. Well folks, there is no such thing as “happily ever after”, not all boys want to live happily ever after with a girl and some boys might look more like a girl than a boy. I’m not saying that people can’t make marriages work for a lifetime. They can. There is clear evidence of this. But, it takes a lot of work and give and take to do it. And sometimes it sucks the life out of one or both people in order to pull it off.
I grew up watching shows like The Brady Bunch, Eight is Enough, Leave it To Beaver and Father Knows Best. They all portrayed these perfect families with two loving opposite sex parents and their nearly perfect children. Even when the kids or the parents did something bad it wasn’t really BAD stuff by today’s standards. Even in the 1950s that just wasn’t realistic. It is a nice fantasy, especially for a kid who’s life is far from perfect. But it’s just further propagating the lies and making people feel like they’re failures when they don’t measure up to Ward Cleaver or Carol Brady.
I saw a meme on Facebook yesterday that asked if we (society) were ready for a lesbian Disney princess. Heck yeah! Bring it on! We need to re-write all of those silly fairy tales out there and put all kinds of relationships and genders in them. Why not a trans princess? Or a gay prince? That would be a start. I know it will offend some people, but you know, it’s high time they wake up out of their dream land and realize that they’ve been living in the Matrix and sold a bunch of lies. Life is not as simple as ‘if you have a penis then you’re a boy and if you have a vagina then you’re a girl’ and ‘marriage is only between a man and a woman’. Nope! It’s way more complicated than that and it’s time to stop perpetuating the brainwashing and lying about what our children’s futures are going to look like. Very few of us are going to marry a Prince or kiss a frog and meet the love of our lives and none of us are going to fall into blissful, perfect love with someone and live happily ever after. That’s all a lie. And I think it’s destructive.
This destructive brainwashing and programming is what makes us miserable because, when we can’t conform to what society says we should be we think there’s something wrong with us. The problem isn’t with us. The problem is with the lies that society perpetuates to keep us all in our nice tight little confined boxes. If one studies nature at all you can’t help but notice all of the color and variation as well as ‘abnormalities’ that naturally occur. We celebrate four leaf clovers as being lucky, but really they are an a rare variation of the three leaf clover. Roses come in a whole array of colors and that’s a wonderful thing. There’s an animal rescue group in Alabama that house a lion, a tiger and a bear all in the same area because they grew up together from babies and they love each other and get along great. Tell me that doesn’t go against nature! People pay money to go see them and think it’s a great thing. And it is. But why can’t we allow people, our fellow humans, who are all struggling to just live their lives, find happiness how they wish with whomever they wish without condemning them and spitting in their faces for being ‘different’? We can. We just have to wake up and smell the roses and realize that we’ve been lied to our whole lives about what it is to be human. And, for God’s sake, show some compassion and human decency for each other. Celebrate the diversity of the human experience in all of it’s colors and glory. Be you and enjoy your life!