I just hit the four week mark post top surgery. Things are healing well I suppose, though I still have a lot of swelling that makes me uncomfortable. My incisions are tight and feel like a tight rope around my chest. I’m hoping it’s the swelling that’s causing that and it will dissipate as things settle down. My surgeon has been amazing and still checks in with me about every week to see how I’m doing. I couldn’t ask for better care than I have been getting from Dr. Sherie.
It’s really amazing to me the difference I feel not having boobs to hide. I am probably getting pegged as male about 98% of the time now and have completely switched to using the men’s bathroom in public. So far no problems to report there except that I hate the minimal facilities that men are stuck with. Men’s washrooms suck, not because of how dirty they are (they aren’t that bad), but because where the women’s room might have three stall, the men’s has one. So only one dude at a time can have a bad case of needing to go #2. And then, I’ve also found that they’re laid out in completely the wrong way. I’ve heard women complain many times about how men designed the women’s room all wrong. Guess what ladies. They put even less thought into their own facilities. On the road down to North Carolina for surgery I went into (or tried to anyway) a men’s room at a truck stop and had to wait for guys to finish drying their hands at the electric dryers before I could squeeze by to get in. Stupid! Who thought that up? Anyway, it’s ok. No one has told me I’m in the wrong room yet and I haven’t felt unsafe. An interesting side note about NC since they still have their ridiculous bathroom war going on is that the rest stops along highway 85 (a major highway through the state) have family restrooms in them. So, if you find yourself travelling that part of the country on that highway, fear not. There are bathrooms for everyone. And they are clean and well maintained too.
I’ve been enjoying not having to wear a bra or worry about covering up my absent appendages since surgery. I find that my shirts seem too big now so some new clothes are in order soon. We have a big trip planned in about ten days so I’ll be doing a little shopping. We’re going to Seattle for a few days and then taking a cruise up into Alaska for a week, then off to Colorado to visit with Candace’s aunt for about four days. It’s a big trip for someone still healing from top surgery but I’m hoping I can get plenty of time to rest while we’re at sea. I’m a little concerned with airport security but my documents all align with an F for gender at the moment so hopefully it will be ok. I purposely have not changed my gender on my drivers license yet since I didn’t have time to get my passport done before the trip. I will need that for the cruise.
In general I’m feeling good about surgery. No regrets. I just feel like this is the way it was always supposed to be and the other way was just a big ugly dream. I also don’t have any euphoria about it either. I was sort of hoping for a rush of emotions but that just has not happened for me. Not overly happy but certainly not upset either. I’ve even gotten somewhat used to seeing my belly dominate my silhouette now. That’s my next project in my transition. Project Lose the Belly. For now, I crack jokes about it and make fun of it, but it really does bother me a lot.