My dog and I have a few things in common. We both hate to get in trouble and don’t like drama. Neither of us can understand why everyone can’t get along and at least just leave each other alone and not fight about stuff. We’re both a little nervous and anxious in new situations and like to understand what’s going on before we can get comfortable and relax. We’re both smart and distrustful of new people. She’s a peace keeper at her doggie daycare and quickly breaks up fights by getting the other dogs to play with her. I, too, prefer to play than fight. Life’s just too short to be angry all the time.
So it’s really hard for me to understand why strangers and even friends get so upset over someone coming out (or being perceived) as gay or transgender to them. I especially don’t understand getting violently angry towards someone for being different than society’s standards. How does my gender actually effect you? How does who I choose to love effect you? What’s there to be so angry about? It all seems so simple to me. People come in all shapes, sizes, colors and variations just like flowers and paint colors. It makes no more sense to me to hate a trans woman than to hate a hybrid rose. The rose had no choice in being created as a hybrid version of a rose than the standard red rose did. Does the red rose feel superior to the hybrid because of its purity? I doubt it. Aren’t they both beautiful in their own way? It’s as silly as hating red heads or people with green eyes. How about people with two different eye colors? Now that’s something to really get violently angry about!
So if you were born in the body that suits your personality, soul and mind and you are attracted to the opposite sex then, congratulations, you are normal by society’s standards and easily able to live within society’s expectations of you. But if you weren’t and you are a variety on the societal norm why is that such a bad thing? We hear messages all of the time about being authentic and being ourselves yet society is constantly trying to condemn anyone who isn’t straight and cis-gender, normal. It’s assumed from birth that we’re all straight and cis. But, while the majority are, some aren’t. It’s not their fault. And it isn’t a fault at all really. It’s just a variation of the human experience. Some people are born into Christian families, some into Muslim families or Jewish families. Some are born in Italy or Mexico, Ireland or Japan. Some are born into poverty or wealth. Some are born with brain sexes that don’t match their physical anatomy. Some are born being attracted to people that are like them instead of the opposite. Some people want to get tattooed so they look like a lizard. What’s the big deal? If that’s not for you then don’t do it. It’s pretty simple, people.
It’s funny actually when you think about it. A lot of times people really like hybrid things. I consider myself a hybrid and I’m a fan of hybrid things (except cars, though I won’t hold it against you if you drive one). I just discovered a really cute little dog breed called a Pomsky the other day. It’s a cross between a Husky and a Pomeranian. They’re adorable! And very expensive. So they’re valuable and highly sought after or they wouldn’t be so expensive, right? Why shouldn’t I be valuable too? I’m a cross between a woman and a man with a lot of the good virtues of both mixed in, plus I’ve experienced life as both straight and gay. Perhaps, in some ways, I’m a really awesome example of a human because I share qualities of both sexes and have walked a mile in a variety of shoes. I certainly think the argument could be made for that.
But society doesn’t see it the way I do. People, though they claim to celebrate diversity, really want everyone to be the same and what they expect them to be. It’s pathetic really. I don’t want everyone to be the same. I can’t imagine a more boring world than if we were all alike. Why do people travel to strange and new places if they put such a high value on “normal”? Hitler wanted to create a super race of humans that all shared the same traits. That didn’t go so well and thank God it didn’t! I remember my mother telling me what I was going to be like when I grew up as if being born female had only one end result and it terrified me. Even at five I could see that there had to be other choices for me than being a wife and a mother. There’s nothing wrong with that but it wasn’t what I wanted to be. It didn’t feel right to me.
All any of us really want is to be allowed to be free to peacefully live our lives without fear of danger or persecution. Like my dog, I really can’t understand why people can’t just get along and truly appreciate the diversity that is the human condition. If you don’t like someone then don’t spend time with them. If you can’t avoid spending time with them then at least be civil to each other. Life’s too short for all of this hatred and fighting.