I Miss Matt Kailey

We lost a great trans brother and educator last year when Matt Kailey suddenly passed away in his sleep of heart failure.  I looked forward to his weekly “Ask Matt” emails in my inbox and even wrote in one time myself to get his opinion on a question I had.  I could always rely on Matt for an honest, sometimes witty and completely fair opinion on matters of importance to my heart.  I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that Matt’s voice is sorely missed.  His book Just Add Hormones was one of the first transgender books I read and the only one I re-read a few years later.  I began blogging because of Matt.  I came to WordPress because this is the site Matt used.  I figured if it was good enough for him it was good enough for me.  I wasn’t wrong in that assessment.

If you don’t know who Matt Kailey was you can learn more about him here.  His obituary can be found here.  And if you’d like to check out his vast amount of blog entries that discuss everything you can imagine about being trans*  here is his website.  I highly recommend checking it out.

I worry about what will happen to his website now that he’s no longer here to monitor it.  I’m pretty sure it’s one of those premium accounts you have to pay money to have and I wonder if anyone has the ability to get into the account and update it.  My fear is that one day it will be taken down because no one paid the subscription fee.  I’m hoping I’m wrong about this.  Either way, I’ve decided that every Thursday I will post a selection from his site on my blog to share with my followers.

So, without further delay, here is my first Matt Kailey excerpt: It’s Time to Lose ‘I Didn’t Choose’ (to be Transgender)

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5 thoughts on “I Miss Matt Kailey

  1. Oh wow that’s sad. Something else I learn late for not staying connected. Early in my transition Matt was an email contact of mine and he connected me with one of my best trans friends. We were all guys who had lived as straight women. I met him in Colorado in 2001.

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    • I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I didn’t know him personally but his weekly blog posts were a lifeline for me as I started this journey and I felt a huge loss when he passed. Not much was said about it in the community (if there is such a thing) and his website is exactly as he left it. Ironically, he had just announced that he was taking a break from the blog days before he died.

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  2. I was very saddened to hear that he had passed away. I have his books, read a lot of what he wrote. He helped me understand what was going on with my son and I shared some of his things with relatives.

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    • I know he touched a lot of people Kat. Judging by how many commented on his posts I know he helped many of us. I’ve wondered what he was planning for his next project but we’ll never know now.

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  3. I would read his posts long before finally admitting to myself I was trans, somehow sympathize, but not feel comfortable admitting to myself I was a dude.

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