I’m OUT!

batmanandrobin66-300x238Holy heart attack, Batman, I came out today to my family and two of my closest/oldest friends! I am unusually calm about it for some reason. I wrote a good letter and sent it off into the inter-webular universe to reach its intended recipients. The only response I got back so far is from my sister-in-law who addressed me by my new name and just simply told me that family is family no matter what. Awesome! I’ll take that. I am nervous, but there’s a calm inside me that tells me no matter what happens it will be ok. I have faith that I’m doing this for the right reasons and that the timing is right for me. It’s been making me crazy to keep all this inside all the time. I’ve been feeling like I might explode at any moment and my temper has been unusually quick lately. Obviously I was about to boil over so I had to let it out. There’s still a lot of people to tell and I’m not out at work yet, but that will come. I’m working my way through a list starting with the people this impacts the most. Work will be next. It’ll also impact ME the most on a daily basis. But, I’m pretty sure it’ll go ok. I have the privilege of being “the boss” so I’m really telling my employees. They could quit over this, but I’d be surprised if they did. And there’s only five of them, so it’s not like I’m coming out in a big corporate office full of people.

Anyway, I am proud of myself for finally taking the plunge and telling my truth so that I can start openly claiming my right to be seen as my true self. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that they all respond at least as politely as my sister-in-law. I would like to thank all of you who read this blog for all of your on-going support over the past several months. You help me in so many ways and I really appreciate reading all of your stories of strength, courage, fears and triumphs.

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14 thoughts on “I’m OUT!

  1. Right on man! Huge congratulations! Do something nice for yourself tonight!

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    • Thanks rimonim! As I thought it would be, the waiting for responses is nerve wracking! I don’t know if the silence is because they haven’t read the mail yet or because they’re completely shocked and don’t know what to say. However it goes, it’s a personal triumph over my fears.

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  2. Yeah, congrats!! That’s really awesome. I’ve been exploding waiting to tell my family, too, and I think it needs to happen soon, but I’m not sure I’m completely ready either… it’s a roller coaster! I’m glad you went for it, and so far it’s been OK.

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    • Thanks. You’ll do it when you’re ready. However, sometimes we need a little nudge to jump off the cliff too. My fears really had silenced me for a long time even though I wanted to get it out there. Making a commitment to my coach that I would come out to two hard people this month was what motivated me to push through my fear. It will be what it will be. We can’t control other people. Good luck to you.

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  3. Congratulations, Shawn. Telling the family is a huge step. Hopefully the rest of the family will follow in your sister-in-law’s path, even if it takes a while for the shock to wear off. Stay strong.

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    • Thanks Jamie. I think the immediate family will do fine with this as long as Candace handles it well, which is a crap shoot. They are her family and mine by association, though they do love me, so her happiness will be foremost in their minds. So far they have been supportive in their responses. There are a few cousins that will be tough but they’re like that with everything that isn’t “normal”.

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  4. Congratulations! Outness is a really big deal.
    Alea iacta est!

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    • Thanks! I had to look up that quote since I was unfamiliar with it. I like the reference to Caesar and yes, I’ve set this in motion now and the outcome is out of my hands to some degree. So far so good and it definitely is a big deal.

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      • Actually, I wrote “No turning back.” Then , I thought, I need something less inane for such a momentous occasion as coming out. So I googled up “No turning back” and found the latin expression. What did we do before google?
        I have never come out via letter, and only once by email. I hate making a big fuss about it, so I usually just let something casually drop.
        The problem at this point in my transition is the people that I need to keep badgering about pronouns.
        There is no right way to do this. The best thing is my few real supporters who fill everyone in for me!

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  5. Congrats! That is a huge step and, no doubt, a huge release. I hope to follow your example soon.

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